Sister
by Confused Penguin
Summary: Prequel to dirty dancing! johnny has a sister (surprise,surprise) Chapter 7 up! plz rr (kinda angsty)
1. Entrance

Authors Note - Ok people who may read this, a warning first this is totally my own fantasy based loosely round dirty dancing so please don't yell at me if I make any mistakes!! Umm.....I guess I better mention that it's a prequel and it's kinda weird but I just watched the film for like the millionth time and I felt inspire to write so I guess you guys are just gonna have to suffer (if you read it of course!!)  
  
Disclaimer – Don't own it, any of it except Christa but I guess that's obvious to everyone!!  
  
Chapter 1  
  
The luridly coloured huts glared at her daring her to break the silence that unnervingly shrouded the whole resort, she knew it wasn't really and that beneath the surface there was music, laughter and life but it didn't help her now. Kellerman's, a family place well that's all the rich people knew, that's all they cared about Christa thought. Seconds later she was admonishing herself, there was no point in being bitter she would deal with it, after all she always did. Christa took a deep breath and climbed the stairs leading to the staff cabins, she knew it wasn't going to be easy but she had no where else to go and all she wanted was a place to rest, recover and council her thoughts. Maybe this was a place where she could maybe not but by now she was so desperate for a break from just about everything she was willing to try it.  
  
Billy saw her first, he only noticed her because he had come out of the melee of people dancing to get a break and to breath, he didn't recognise her at first 'but' Christa thought ' that was understandable she had changed since the last time they were all together, they had all changed'. It took Billy a while to recognise the thin figure in front of him with her long brown hair hiding half her face as Johnny's little sister, the one who had always tagged along and tried to join in whatever they were doing, the one who laughed and who was always happy. Tentatively he called out 'Christa??...Chris??' and ran down to meet her.  
  
Christa smiled 'Billy' she called and ran up to him she gave him a hug and sighed; careful not to move her hair from it's carefully styled shape.  
  
'It's been to long Chris' Billy said careful not to sound too condemning, 'you know you shouldn't have left like that, you nearly drove Johnny insane with worry.' Christa sighed again.  
  
'I know Billy, I know but it was my mistake to make, and have done ok? Now can you tell me where Johnny is? I kinda want to see him' Billy smiled and replied.  
  
'You know where Johnny will be he's dancing right now, with Penny I think they're still with the guests so your gonna hafta wait.' Christa looked at him strangely almost as though she wanted to tell him something but she then changed her mind.  
  
'I'll wait' she said walked up to sit outside the cabin. Billy followed he was about to start asking her where she had gone when she disappeared last year when she continued speaking. 'Look Billy I'm tired I travelled a long way today, I'll stay here if you'll just tell me if you see Johnny before I do' Billy looked as though he was going to protest but Christa stopped him 'Seriously Billy I really wanna be alone' so Billy stood up and walked back to the dancers, he knew better than to argue with Christa when she was in this mood.  
  
'Come in if you get cold' he called back but Christa just smiled. She waited half an hour before she heard sounds of people approaching her where she sat by the side of a cabin.  
  
'Johnny, your not gonna believe this' she heard Billy call and she heard the sound of Johnny's voice demanding to know what it was. Suddenly she didn't feel tired any more, she didn't care that her legs hurt and she'd spent all day walking she got up and ran at the voices yelling 'Johnny, Johnny' as loud as she could, she ran towards him and ran straight into his arms as he said  
  
'Chris? Is that you??' Johnny looked confused but he just stood there and held her for a while muttering incoherently about her. 'Where were you Chris?? I've been real worried' Christa smiled and said 'Johnny it doesn't matter I just had to find you, I just had to' she knew she wasn't making any sense but she didn't care. As Johnny released her he suddenly noticed her face. As she had been running towards him her hair had gone flying and it was now showing the ugly purple bruises all the way down the left side of her face.  
  
'Christa, what the hell happened? Who did this to you? Look Chris you've got to tell me who the scumbag was' Tears began to fill Christa's eyes and she just leaned against Johnny and started to cry. Slowly Johnny hugged her and helped her walk to an empty, disused cabin, Billy followed looking slightly uncomfortable and stood by the door as Christa cried uncontrollably on her brother's shoulder. She could feel the tension in Johnny's body as he begged over and over again to tell him who he was, who the guy who had dared to hurt his little sister was. Christa just cried she didn't care any more she didn't have to be strong, she didn't have to worry about other people she just gave in to her own pain, aware of nothing except her and Johnny and the tears. 


	2. Look after number one

Authors Note – Wow!! I got a review!! I'm so happy!! Thanx melbo18 it was really appreciated. Um.... I guess I don't have anything else to but please read and review!! (I know I'm begging but please please please review!!) sorry a temporary moment of desperation well here goes!!!  
  
Disclaimer – as before much as I would love to own any part of dirty dancing I don't but Christa is mine!! (Then again I doubt anyone else would want her!)  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Christa woke up, disorientated for a minute as she looked around the empty room. Then she remembered with a smile all that had happened the previous night. She had cried for hours, for the first time in years she had just let go and allowed herself to weep. Johnny had spent hours just holding her alternately trying to threaten and coerce her to tell him the name of the guy who had hit her. She would have told him everything, she even wanted to but she knew it wasn't the right time, Johnny was busy, he had his own life to lead and her problems were exactly that, hers. Even so it had felt good to let go, to know that someone was there to take care of you, just like the old days.  
  
Christa glanced around the room and smiled, it was typical Johnny everything he needed was spread out over chairs, even on the floor, 'some things never change' she thought. It was nice to think about the old days, to remember the long days when she, Billy and Johnny had run in the park, played baseball and were always laughing. 'I sound like I'm 80' she thought 'thinking about the 'good old days', next thing I know I'll be complaining about the youth of today' she laughed, but it wasn't a happy laugh, it was short, tense and harsh. 'I am the youth of today' she laughed again but quickly sobered. She couldn't stay here forever, nowhere was safe for long, she had learnt that lesson quickly in the year she had been away but it was nice to be looked after again.  
  
She heard a gentle tap at the door and started violently, she quickly marshalled her thoughts and called out quietly 'come in'. Penny walked in; she walked up to the bed that Christa was lying on and sat by her feet. Penny took a deep breath as though she was steeling herself against an expected attack and spoke.  
  
'Christa, Why've you come back? Why here? You have no idea how worried Johnny was when you disappeared, Where did you go? Couldn't you even have called or something?' Christa stared at Penny her expression not changing one iota throughout this entire barrage of questions. She had become good at that, useful skill being able to hide her emotions. She sat there mentally weighing up her answers, trying to settle for the right mix of flippancy and hostility that would either make Penny go away or at least make her so angry that she wouldn't really listen to what she had to say.  
  
'I been around, nowhere interesting you know? Just doing this and that, thought it was time for me to show my face around here again' Christa listened to her own voice come out with these words and was shocked at hoe easily the lies simply rolled off her tongue. She sat waiting for a response, scrutinizing Penny's body language for an indication of what was coming. When Penny finally did respond it was an entirely unexpected reaction. There was no shouting, no yelling, no anger at all instead Penny looked her straight in the eyes.  
  
'You don't get bruises like that from 'just doing this and that'' Penny gestured up the side of Christa's face, which had begun to turn an ugly blue colour. 'Look I know you didn't like me when you were small but you've got to realise I still cared about you, so did Billy and Johnny. We didn't know what to do when you left, we tried looking but it was as though you had simply vanished.' Tears filled Christa's eyes and horrified at her own weakness she blinked them back, her well-honed self-defence mechanism slipped into place and she took on her tough persona. The one that everyone but the few people she was close to saw, the one most people believed was her.  
  
'Penny I can look after myself, I don't need you all and I don't need to explain myself to you all. Now if you have a problem with me and what I do then I would advise you to just stay out of my life because I'm not changing who I am for anyone. I didn't ask you to care for me, I never asked anyone to care for me so please I think it would be better for both of us if you just left' It hurt Christa to say it, each word felt like a knife twisting deeper in her gut but she couldn't help it, she couldn't trust any one but herself, look after number one and then everyone else comes second, that was her motto now and she was sticking to it resolutely. 'Whom am I trying to convince?' she thought with a self-mocking flash in her eye 'myself?' It was then that Penny said the worst possible thing in the situation, a comment that she regretted the millisecond after she had uttered it.  
  
'You asked someone to care for you once; just coz that went wrong doesn't mean everything else will. C'mon Chris I'm just trying to help you, let you know people care.' Her mouth was open as though she was going to continue speaking but Christa quickly interrupted.  
  
'My name is Christa, and I would appreciate it if you left now, I'm still tired from the journey yesterday.' Christa stood up and walked over to the door, Penny was shocked at how cold she sounded, was this really the happy smiling Chris from only a year ago. It had been a long time since the incident with her mother and everyone thought she had got over it. But no one had ever been able to tell what Christa was thinking not really, even Johnny was mystified by her sometimes. Penny stood up and walked towards the door just before she left she called out  
  
'Johnny will come and see you soon, I'm sorry Chris I really did miss you' Christa collapsed on the bed and let out a small whimper. She had got what she wanted she was all alone now, all alone with the memories........... 


	3. Flashback

Authors Note – Ok ok I'll admit I kinda got absorbed in this so I'm gonna put up two chapters at the same time! Hope you like it!!  
  
Disclaimer – I'm broke, after writing this I will remain broke therefore not mine not making money from it!  
  
Chapter 3  
  
A tall brown haired woman walks down stairs she is carrying two suitcases and several other bags. Her beautifully made up face is wearing a worried expression. At the bottom of the stairs is a small girl only 7 years old and with the same long brown hair as her mother. Tears are rolling down the girls face and she is looking terrified, she is unconsciously puling the strand of hair, which falls, across her face.  
  
'Mommy, mommy' the girl calls suddenly stretching out her hands toward the woman who is carefully walking down stairs carrying too many bags. 'Mommy don't go'  
  
The woman looks towards the girl and says snappily 'Christa I don't have time for this, Mommy has to go now, she has important business to do' She reaches the bottom of the stairs and drops the bags to the floor. The girl runs up to her and throws her arms around the long, expensively clad legs. 'Christa stop being silly, I have to go, this is important' She tries to gently push the crying child away from her but when this fails she administers a much harder shove. The girl, being caught off balance trips up and lands hard on the floor, she sits there looking upwards as her mothers runs up the stairs.  
  
She follows, running up the stairs as fast as her small legs will carry her and tumbles into a bedroom. It s elegantly furnished in direct contrast to the rest of the house but it contains no personal items, no photos, no clothes, not even a book or a magazine. She runs towards her mother and says quietly to her. 'I'll be good mommy, I promise I will, I mean I've been trying, I have but I will try harder mommy. I promise, I promise mommy please stay here' she is pleading, begging but her mother merely looks irritated.  
  
'Christa, this is important to Mommy, now can you please go downstairs your going to mess up mommy's nice room' The girl walks slowly towards the door tears dripping off her cheeks, as she reaches the door she turns back.  
  
'Mommy what did I do wrong? I'll try to make it better I promise. And if Johnny did something wrong he's sorry too mommy. Please can we come to, Mommy please.' The woman looks at the little girl angrily, and she cowers in the corner not wanting to leave the room and her mother.  
  
'Christa, You CANNOT come, you are a big girl now and all this crying is babyish. Only babies cry and you don't want everyone to think your just a big baby now do you?' the frightened child simply shakes her head and looks with trepidation at her mother. ' Now you've got to promise Mommy something now, come here' the woman's voice is saccharine and false. The girl doesn't mind, she doesn't notice all this is to her is proof that her mommy really loves her. 'Promise mommy you won't tell Johnny where I've gone until tomorrow, this will be our little secret after all us girls hafta stick together' The child looks up adoringly at her mother, she nods vigorously and tries to reach up and give her a kiss. The woman grasps her arm in a tight grip and avoids the wet upturned face. 'Promise me crystal, promise me you won't tell Johnny.'  
  
'Yes Mommy, I promise, cross my heart and hope to die' she was rewarded with another false smile and then the woman stands up. The girl starts to look around her frantically she is getting desperate. 'I love you Mommy, I do please don't go please Mommy. I'll do anything you want me to Please, don't go please' as the child continues to beg the woman walks out of the bedroom and quickly runs downstairs. She gathers her bags ignorantly the increasingly hysterical screams of 'Mommy, stay Mommy I love you, please, I'll be good' coming from the top of the stairs.  
  
'Be good crystal, always remember that we can only do what makes us happy in life ' the woman calls as she opens the front door of the dilapidated house.  
  
'I can make you happy Mommy' the girl screams but the woman just laughs and walks out the door. 'I love you Mommy, I love you and you love me to don't you Mommy?? Mommy?? I love you, and you do love me too?? Mommy!!' She runs towards the door and pulls it open just in time to see a taxi pull away.  
  
'MOMMY'  
  
She falls onto the floor sobbing, her heart ripped into shreds. 


	4. Work

Authors Note – thank you to anyone who has reviewed, especially melbo18 hey for once I don't have anything to say! Read on!! (Please! ()  
  
Disclaimer – as per usual still waiting for the letter that tells me I've been given the rights for free but until then ain't mine!  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Even now the memories still hurt her, and Christa was sobbing just thinking about it. She lay on Johnny's bed for what seemed like hours but eventually she drifted to sleep but when she woke up the first thing she heard was a man shouting. As she slowly opened her eyes she saw he was short and quite fat with dark hair and he was wearing a very expensive suit. As she tried to make sense of what was going on she realised that it wasn't just the short man and her in the room, Johnny was there too. He wasn't saying a word but Christa knew he was getting angry. His entire body was tensed up and he kept clenching and unclenching his fists.  
  
'Castle, You know that you can't bring strange women into your cabin; my father is not going to be happy when I tell him this! We let you and your team have their own rules but you should respect ours and this is against the rules. I could fire you, in fact I will fire you, just get out and take your little slut with you!' The short man was gasping for breath now and his face was a rather violent shade of red. Just as he was about to launch into another long speech, Johnny interrupted him.  
  
'She's my sister.' He said coldly 'and she's come here for a job, you know the entertainment crew is several dancers down because of the food poison...the illness going round. I told her she could fill in for a couple of days and I was just going to tell your father after I had got changed but I found you here.' He spoke very slowly and very controlled and it was obvious that he really didn't like the short man.  
  
'Well father said I'm managing the entertainment side of the season this year so you should have come and talked to me.' The man, obviously the managers son, sounded like a little child who had just been told he wasn't big enough to go on a fairground ride. Christa had to stop herself from laughing **all he needs to do is stamp his foot and he'll be acting just like the little boy he obviously is** she thought. But he obviously realised that an extra dancer could only be a good thing. 'I'll let you get away with this Castle just this once and no more you understand? She can fill in for Cindy, Angela and Barbara. If she's really come here to work that is'  
  
Christa could see even Johnny was shocked, all three of them knew that she wasn't really going to work there and that was why he had given her such an impossible work load. She felt angry, really really angry, she didn't mind the work, but it the way he was treating Johnny that got her annoyed, she was more than annoyed she was furious. She sat straight up in bed to the complete surprise of both men who had presumed she was still sleeping and she opened her mouth to start yelling when she realised that if she did, she would have lost Johnny his job. Instead of yelling she just sighed, knowing she would have to play along with this charade. 'Hello, umm... yeah I came here to get work so whatever your offering sounds good' Christa smiled falsely and felt nauseous, she hated this being next to the people with money simply because they could make your life hell if they chose to. She glanced up at Johnny and the relief she saw in his eyes was the sacrificing of a few principles to be nice to this manager's son. Christa gave him a small smile and continued. 'I'd like to start as soon as you need me to, just tell me where to go' she turned on her fake smile and positively shone at the little man.  
  
'Well I'm Neil Kellerman and I'm charge. Cindy was taking a dance session in the main Pavilion in an hour so you better be there' he was trying to sound authoritative and menacing but failing miserably, he then turned round and tried to sweep out of the room, soon after the door slammed shut, they both heard a THUD and realized that Neil and fallen down the stairs. Christa looked at Johnny and started to laugh, Johnny chuckled and soon they were both laughing hysterically. They just sat on the bed together for what seemed like an age, unable to do anything except laugh.  
  
'I'm sorry' Johnny said after they had eventually calmed down, 'I'm really Chris but he was here before I got back'  
  
'I know Johnny I heard him he was gonna fire you, don't worry I'll cope, I always do!' Christa said flippantly trying to laugh it off despite the fact inside she was dreading it. Johnny knew better though, he knew what she was feeling; somehow he always seemed to know these things.  
  
'You shouldn't have to cope Chris, It's not fair that people keep doing these things to you, you deserve better.' Johnny face showed the pain he was feeling, he had always tried to protect his little sister from the day their mother had walked out on them he looked after her and he hated it when she had to feel pain. **I have to fight my own battles** Christa thought, this was not going to be easy she knew that. The last time she had danced was over a year ago and she had never been taught how to teach dances unlike Johnny. She glanced at her watch and nearly jumped.  
  
'I have to go Johnny, the class begins in ten minutes' Christa said expecting the reply.  
  
'Look I'll do it Chris, don't worry' Johnny said still trying to find a way he got get Christa out of the situation, but even as he said the words he saw Christa's face set in a long of determination. He knew that look; he had grown up with that look and he knew exactly what she was going to say.  
  
'No Johnny, we both know if I don't do this you'll get kicked out. Look it's only an hour, how hard can be??' and with this false assurance of hope Christa turned around and left the cabin to walk towards the main pavilion. Johnny stared after her, feeling full of proud, he had known Christa would turn out all right; she was always an independent girl. Then he thought about the bruise on her face that was covered by her hair and felt anger welling up inside him, how could anyone do such a thing to an innocent girl? He felt so mad at whoever the scumbag who had done it was and he silently vowed to himself that he would get even. 


	5. Humiliation

Authors note – Well, I'm still writing!! Thanx to everyone who reviewed especially melbo18 coz you've actually read it from when I first started putting up chapters! Also Mrs Clay Aiken, your so nice! O and jayjay015, you all make me happy and when I'm happy I write angst! Ok, ok on with the fic, I'm considering making Christa's life slightly happier, hmmm...nope ok got over that, back to the angst! Oh and I'm sorry about the names of music and dances, I'll try to get them right but it was all just a bit before my time!! (And when I say a bit I mean nearly 30 years!)Yell if I make a mistake!  
  
Disclaimer – I'm just playing with characters I don't own them I'm just having fun, if you care sue me! Ok, ok please don't I'm poor!!  
  
Chapter 5  
  
As the she placed a record in the player and the Merengue music flooded the room. She turned to face the expectant faces of her rather large group of guests. **It's over 2 years since I've done this, let's hope I remember how to** she thought cynically. She was never good at dancing, Johnny had taught her and she knew how to do all the moves but the simple fact was she wasn't talented. She surveyed her pupils for the next hour, they all looked nice enough, **maybe this isn't going to be that bad** she thought.  
  
'Hello, my names Christa and I'm going to be teaching you all the Merengue today, so if you would all like to find a partner we'll begin.' She plastered a happy smile on her face and turned around to restart the record. The waves of sheer terror that had been wracking her body since she had arrived at the pavilion were beginning to subside. She counted to ten in her head and with another deep breath turned around. Everyone had found themselves a partner and had separated off into a space in the rather cavernous area of the pavilion dance floor, everyone that is with the exception of a group of boys, a few years older than Christa.  
  
'Excuse me, could you boys please find yourselves a partner and get into a space on the floor' she asked in her most authoritative tone, trying to look older than her meagre seventeen years. They had that look in their eyes, the one she knew meant trouble and she fought against the panic threatening to engulf her, she turned to face them directly and said 'if you are going to learn the Merengue, you have to find a partner and a space.' Again she smiled at them, helpless because they were guests and if it came down to an argument they would automatically win no matter who had right on their side. The boys stood up and sauntered into the middle of the hall, just as Christa was about to repeat her request for a third time an equal number of girls ran into the pavilion, giggling.  
  
They were rich kids, spoilt rich kids just thinking about them brought out the bitter side of Christa's nature. If she didn't have to be nice to them, if there wasn't the threat of dismissal for both her and Johnny looming on the horizon she would have walked out. They didn't care about the dancing; they were only there to escape parents or guardian or whatever adults held responsibility for them and their exploits. She knew there was no point feeling bitter, the people here couldn't help the fact that those only months ago so similar to them in appearance had destroyed her soul. She pushed her resentment to the back of her mind; she pushed all her feelings to the back of her mind and repeated again her solitary request.  
  
'I need you all to find a partner and go to a space on the floor as quickly as possible' she said with careful emphasis. 'Please' she added as an afterthought so they at least could not accuse her of being disrespectful. Slowly, carefully, as though they had not delayed the entire class for 10 minutes the boys moved from the door and approached the giggling crowd of girls. Then circling them as vultures circle carcasses one by one they selected a partner and still excruciatingly slowly walked with their chosen girl to the last few spaces on the floor.  
  
Relief filled Christa's mind as she reset the record for a third time and started to teach. She was describing the first few steps of the dance when the trouble started. To call it trouble was exaggerate, the tallest and as Christa presumed oldest of the boys was whispering things in the ear of the pretty blond he had chosen to dance with. She was laughing a little too loudly but she ignored the interruption. She told the dancers to try out the first few moves while she called out the time. There were several elderly couples who were having difficulties keeping in time and as Christa walked towards them to help them out she realised that most of the younger people were not even trying to dance they were talking, laughing, jeering at those who were dancing, and one couple had given up all pretence of dancing together and were walking towards their friends.  
  
Christa had no idea what to do, she hadn't been trained to teach, she hadn't even been trained to dance properly and she knew that they wouldn't listen to her even if she could think of something to say. They were older than her, in their early twenties and it was obvious they resented her attempt at telling them what to do.  
  
She walked towards the group of people that was gradually forming in the centre of the floor and tried to reason with them. 'Now I know this isn't how you do the Merengue' she said trying to create some kind of relationship with them. 'Do you need me to show you how to do the steps again?' It was immediately obvious this was the wrong thing to say, the blonde girl who had been dancing with the ringleader of the group of guys stalked up to her.  
  
'You?? Teach me how to dance?? You have to be joking; I think I know more about dancing than a cheap, common tart like you! I'm county champion, and I know how to dance whereas you, one of your 'friends obviously told you that you could dance in an attempt to get somewhere with you and you actually believed him, it's quite sweet really!' She laughed in Christa's face and Christa could smell the coffee on her breath from breakfast. Christa automatically took a step back in shock, she knew that teaching rich people to dance wasn't fun, Johnny had told her enough times but she had never expected outright hostility. **Count to 10 and walk away, Count to 10 and walk away** she told herself. She turned her back on the blonde girl and made her way slowly through the group of people which had formed behind her toward those in her class who were still vainly trying to dance in time with the music and in a typically British way ignore the heated argument going on around them. **1...except an argument requires to people ...2...3** thought Christa. She never got past four, in her close concentration on controlling her temper she didn't notice the foot stuck out in front of her, didn't realise what was happening until she was lying face down on the floor, humiliated.  
  
She struggled to blink back tears of embarrassment, and began to pick herself up of the floor, ignoring the near hysterical shrieks of laughter coming from the group behind her.  
  
'I thought this was a dance lesson, I was obviously mistaken' a sarcastic voice cut through the crowd. Christa looked up to see the short, fat figure of Neil Kellerman, a smug smile on his face, making his features look even smaller and more pig-like. 'These good people have paid money to be taught a lesson and that's what they expect, so you can stop fooling around on the floor and teach them. If you're going to work at Kellerman's you had better improve your attitude' after he had finished this verbal tirade, he started to apologise to the guests and assure them that 'She is just starting work here' and that 'She is so sorry'. He smarmed his way out of the pavilion never stopping to let Christa even breathe.  
  
The rest of the lesson was uneventful; Christa went through the dance moves woodenly, not bothering to correct people when they made mistakes, constantly watching the clock. It was not until the entire hour had passed and all of her students had left that Christa gave in to the tears. She ran as fast as she could towards Johnny's cabin the as the small drops of water coursed down her cheeks. Johnny was sitting in one of the two chairs in his room, humming along to some music when she burst through the door. He didn't have to speak; he simply held out his arms and wrapped Christa in them, letting her cry out all the humiliations of the last hour. Slowly, and with much sobbing and hiccupping she told him the whole story, Johnny knew though that there was more to her distress than simple humiliation. He knew his sister and he knew that she wouldn't be depressed merely by what was not an entirely disastrous lesson, even if it was quite unsuccessful.  
  
'What is it Chris? What happened last year?' he asked as soon as the sobbing had subsided and she was leaning quietly against him. Christa wriggled out of his arms and walked over to the window.  
  
'No Johnny, I can't tell you, I just can't, you gotta understand me, I just can't' 


	6. Explanation

Authors Note – Ok sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry the world has conspired to prevent me from writing for a long time so I hope people will still read this!! Thank you to everyone to reviewing me...umm... Fan fic has just died on my computer so I can't do anything personal but thanks!! As a present for being so patient I'm gonna stop being mysterious and start explaining! Oh and Neil is fat because the last time I saw the film I wasn't wearing my contacts and he looked like a fat blob! Sorry if I've insulted him or anyone! I can't remember if anyone else had anything to say!  
  
Disclaimer – I recently read all fan fiction is illegal whether or not you include a disclaimer but hey! It's force of habit now! I'm merely making the characters dance a ballet in my head and on paper/computers screen and ballet is an art so forgive me?? Please??  
  
Chapter 6  
  
'Christa, it's just not good enough I need to know, you realise you will never let go and move on until you can talk about it. Christa this important to me, Come on tell me Chris.' She had known this moment had come, to be honest she had been expecting it from the moment she entered the long driveway into the Kellerman resort, her face marked and her body weary. Even so she made one last attempt to avoid it, to hug her secret to her, somehow protecting it and herself from the harsh criticisms of the outside world.  
  
'It's raining' she said as the first dribbles of water trickled down the window, slowly coursing their way to the bottom regardless of the dirt that smeared their path. Johnny sat down on the bed he looked at Christa intensely and remained silent for so long that she turned to face him.  
  
'I remember the last time, you said those words to me, the last time you were trying to hide something from me.' His voice was dull as if the life had simply dripped out of him with the rain. ' You said I couldn't help you then and maybe I didn't but it's different this time Chris, give me a chance.' There was none of the enthusiasm, the zest for life that anyone who knew Johnny associated with him, all there was, was the pain of that long ago encounter, gone but never forgotten.  
  
*****************************Flashback********************************  
  
The young girl had moved from her post at the door, she no longer leapt to it when she heard the slightest sound, was no longer sobbing for her loss. She just sat. Staring. It could have been an hour or it could have been five, she didn't notice, would never know, didn't care.  
  
The door swung open violently and she heard a shuddering crash as it hit the wall, Johnny was in a bad mood. She knew that she had to move now, move or he would realise something was wrong, and if that happened then she might tell him and then she would let her mother down, and then her mother would never call her a good girl again and then she would never be called crystal again and then...and then... It never occurred to the child as she pulled herself of the ground and tried to force a smile that she wouldn't see her mother for years, that she would never be her mother's good girl even when she did return all she could think about was making the ghost of her mother happy.  
  
Johnny was in a bad mood, Penny wasn't interested in him she had just told him it was over, he was boring and the new dance instructor was her true love. She had dripped it in honey and told him that it wasn't him 'it's me' she said but he knew it was because he wasn't enough for her; he wasn't good enough for her. He hadn't wanted to come home, to see his mother trying on her new ridiculously priced dress while at the same time saying they didn't have enough money to buy anything nice to eat, to see his little sister stare at her with eyes brimful of hero-worship, picking up the clothes their mother cast down in her hurry to find a 'nice' dress. He knew he as being unfair to his mother, to both of them but he didn't care, he just wanted to be alone right then.  
  
The girl walked smiling fiercely as though her life depended on it, towards him. She started speaking to him, babbling but he didn't listen he just smiled and nodded and glanced about for his mother, surprised to see her shadow but not her. She had stopped speaking and was staring at him expectantly, as though waiting for an answer.  
  
'I'm sorry Chris, What did you say?' before she could repeat herself he spoke again, trying to prevent the avalanche of words he knew his sister was about to launch into. 'Where is she?' he asked, he didn't call her mom, or mommy, he couldn't remember a time when he had, but he knew Christa understood him. She glanced around guiltily, she seemed to search for something in the air behind him as he became puzzled by her absence of a reply. 'Christa?'.  
  
'She went shopping' his sister replied looking almost pleased with herself. It was then that he noticed the tearstains on her cheeks and the swollen red eyes. She looked pleased with herself apart from the sadness in her eyes. It was well past eleven, there were no shops open and hadn't been for hours.  
  
'Christa, tell me the truth, it's very important, where is your mother?' she turned from him and stared at the wall opposite him, the paper was a strange yellow colour where it should really have been cream and it was peeling. She looked down at her feet and then spoke.  
  
'It's raining' she said. He knew, he just knew at that moment and he headed towards the stairs, she followed him unable to catch up with his huge strides as he leaped up the stairs two at a time. He never knew why she followed him up the stairs; she just climbed them and stood outside their mother's bedroom. He was inside, gazing, he knew she was gone, forever. Maybe not forever but he didn't care what difference did it make?  
  
He threw the doors of the wardrobe open and stared at the empty hangers in neat rows. This had been planned he thought as he looked, this wasn't spontaneous she had planned it. He suddenly felt nauseous and overwhelmed, he turned and hurried out the room staring wildly round him but seeing nothing. She was outside, her eyes wide with emotion. She needed support and reassurance, she needed someone to hug her and tell her everything would be all right but he couldn't offer her it. He was too lost in the storm of emotions that were shaking his very soul. He ran out and leant against the front door, unaware he was standing in the place where his mother had said her last words to Christa, unaware that the rain was driving down and the wind howling, unaware of the world. He closed his eyes and tried to make sense of the situation, tried to think about it rationally tried to be calm. He wandered over to the fence separating the house from its neighbour and sat down. He felt lost and angry. Angry that his mother had left him with so much responsibility, lost because at seventeen he was still a child himself. As he sat in the storm, the rain wetting his cheeks, he started to cry, silent tears indistinguishable from the droplets of rain, only tasting much bitterer. He heard a creak and felt a small hand slip into his. His sister was beside him; Christa still had faith in him. He looked at her and though it was beyond him to smile he stood up.  
  
'We can't have you getting wet now can we?' he said deliberating making his voice light. He held her hand and walked back through the doorway towards the rest of his life.  
  
********************************End*********************************  
  
'She came back' was all Christa said to him. She just stared her eyes as wide as they had been that night nearly 10 years ago, he looked down at her and waited for her to continue, the time for encouragement was over, the revelations were about to begin.  
  
A/N – Oh yeah I remember ...feedback! Please! : ) it would be appreciated! And I promise personal thank yous! Oh such a temptation!! 


	7. Revelations

Authors Note – Still grovelling, sorry, sorry, sorry!!! Ok I'm updating it a lot quite quickly to absolve me of my serious sin of forgetting about it for so long!! Ok thank yous to melbo18, jayjay015, moongoddess86 and TeacherTam! You guys are great!! And especially thanks to TeacherTam for letting me know someone is still reading it!! Ok on with the pain misery and depression!! Oh and btw yeah it is all illegal,. Infringement of copyright, but hey! It's still fun!! ;)! Oh and despite sounding obsessive feedback...please, pretty please, with a cherry on top!!  
  
Disclaimer – Christa came to me, she is mine, my own, my precious! But the rest of it isn't so don't sue me for having fun! Well technically I can't be sued because I'm a minor so don't be mad at me big rich movie owning people!! : ) Please!  
  
Chapter 7  
  
'After you left to come here, she came back.' Christa spoke slowly, quietly but this did nothing to hide the emotion behind her words. She sounded so bitter even Johnny was shocked. He was about to say something, anything to make her feel better but she simply sat down on the other side of the bed and continued staring at him intensely.  
  
'I was still staying with Mary, just like you told me to, but it was boring Billy had gone to join you and I didn't have many friends, I've never been very good at making friends. Life wasn't great, but it was working out, I met a couple of people at High School who didn't know about her.' Christa winced as she said the last few words even now she couldn't bring herself to call her mother anything other than 'her'. She knew never had but to her it hurt every time she heard the word in her mind or on someone else's lips.  
  
'Ok so I lied, I said my mother was dead, am I that bad a person for not wanting to relive the past every time I have to tell someone the story? Is that wrong? Things were getting better, I was getting good grades people may have not liked me but they still spoke to me occasionally and nearly had some friends. I was as happy as I had been ...for years. Then she came back. She came back and she brought them.' Johnny was trying not to interrupt her, trying not to demand who 'they' were, trying to control the wave of anger that always flowed over him at the mention of her, his mother. Christa could see he wanted to talk, to demand answers so she hurried on with her story, she had never liked making a drama out of a situation.  
  
'We were at home when it happened, Aunt Mary and me, drinking tea, mine had too much sugar in. Funny how you remember little things like that when I can't even remember what day it was when she turned up. We knew something was wrong when we heard a car pull up outside the door; you don't drive cars down that road, and really don't leave them there. I guess she remembered that because as smoothly, and quickly as it had come we heard it pull off into the distance. I guess we just assumed that someone rich had got lost, you could tell from the sound of it the car was big, big and in an excellent state of repair, so we assumed it was someone rich. Then the doorbell rang. We both jumped. I can remember that. We both started and looked at each other. Then Mary got up, she went to the door and opened it, no ceremony, just pulled it open.' Christa took a deep breath, she closed her eyes for a second as she fought with the memories, tried to stop them engulfing her. As she opened them, she continued speaking, only this time she spoke in a tone with no emotion, no warmth or expressiveness. It was as though she were reciting a lecture instead of describing her life story.  
  
'There was a man outside' she continued. 'A man in a suit, I thought he was a bailiff or a tax man or someone else coming to take away our possessions or the house or anything.' She let out a harsh sound, almost unrecognisable as a laugh. 'I guess she did come to take away something but I was too stupid to realise that. The man was just standing still, exuding confidence. He said nothing and did not move an inch, just stood there on our doorstep, perfectly still. The silence must have lasted at least a minute as we sized him up, tried to understand what department he worked for and thought up lies to avoid having to give him anything. You know how it was Johnny, we thought he had come for the house so I guess we didn't exactly welcoming him with open arms.  
  
Then she appeared, dressed like a supermodel, wearing sunglasses even though it was the middle of October. I recognised her straight away even though her hair was blonde, and she was wearing heavy make-up. She was standing beside the man; her arm resting on his and on her face was a smile. I mean it she was really smiling, expecting me to welcome her. I swear I would have fallen over if Mary had not grasped hold of me when I started to sway dangerously. My mother had returned, and she expected me to be happy.' As she continued her story, a tear trickled down her cheek, but her voice remained as emotionless as before as though she believed that if she wished hard enough it wouldn't hurt her anymore.  
  
' "Christa darling, look who's back" that's what she said Johnny, she went out of my life for nine years and she treated it as though she had been gone a few hours, just a few damn hours. Mary spoke first, I just couldn't, the words refused to come out of my mouth, I think I was in shock because my brain just stopped functioning. I don't remember what Mary said but I remember that she laughed, the same laugh I heard the night she left. "What the hell are you doing here?" I practically yelled at her, I don't have an excuse, I yelled, I was mad, and at the minute I could have killed her. I expected her to scream at me or slap me, I think I wanted her to but she just smiled at me. "I have a surprise for you darling" she said and then called out "Jackson, Ruby, Lily come here". It was then that I noticed the children playing a game on the pavement; there was three of them. They ran up to her and stood in front of her, the youngest girl even grabbed on to her mothers skirt. She was smiling, their mother, smiling and saying to them "Here's your big sister, Go and say hello" It hurt Johnny, she never let me touch her skirts, she never smiled that way at me when I was little. Her smiles were full of love and pride for her children, I've never seen her look like that, never.' Christa stopped and Johnny let out his breath, he realised that there was more to this story but he knew that to Christa their mother's pride of her other children was just too painful. He had known the small girl who followed her mother around everywhere, had done anything for a word of approval and had tried everything to make her mother smile at her in that way. As he thought about what his sister was telling him, he realised for the first time in his life he was beginning to understand his mother. She hadn't deliberately hurt Christa, she was just overwhelmingly selfish, and Christa had only been an inconvenience. She had never understood that Christa followed her out of an overpowering love, she merely thought about how it got in her way when she was trying to work. His face blackened, Oh yes his mother had worked all right, worked real hard. But that was a long time ago he reminded himself.  
  
Christa sensed the turmoil in her brother and moved nearer to him on the bed. She picked up his hand with both of her's; they sat in silence until Johnny spoke.  
  
'You're not finished' he said but it was a statement not a question. Christa sighed and started to retell her tale, keeping his hand clasped in her own two hands.  
  
' Well they said hello, all three of them and then I guess they were invited in. Maybe they weren't but they came in anyway, we sat and made difficult small talk over a cup of tea. What can you say to the mother who abandoned you for nine years? She told me was her new husband, they had met after she had left us, or should I say 'changed direction in her life' which was how she put it. I didn't point out that it was lucky I millionaire had met and fallen in love with her, It may have been the bitterness but to me it seemed obvious they didn't love each other. She spoke for hours telling us all about her life, but all I kept thinking about was how she didn't love that man. She didn't Johnny I just know she didn't, but she loved him more than me obviously. She never called or wrote, never told me anything and then she expected me to not be bitter.' Christa stood up again; she had always had to move around when she was concentrating, she used to laugh and say it helped her think but she wasn't laughing now. The tension was clear in her face and body as she paced the short length of the room.  
  
'I was quiet all the time she spoke I listened but said nothing, but then she started talking about plans for the future and she told me she I was going to move to Indiana with her, she needed help looking after the kids. I lost it, I started to yell, all the pain and the hurt and the tears from so many years welled up inside me and I just started to scream at her. Mary took the kids out of the room and I'm glad I guess, I wasn't really being nice to their beloved mother and ten years ago what I did what have upset me.  
  
"You want to see me now, you need me for something so you want me now. For Christ's sake woman you walked out on me nearly ten years ago and never even called. I was a child, I idolised you and you never even bothered to write me a letter." I screamed at her, standing up, shouting at the top of my voice.  
  
"I loved you, I forgave you, I even cried for you but it's taken this long for you to come back. What do you think it did to Johnny he was only seventeen? And you want me to come back and look after your brats. You just spent hours telling me you never realised how wonderful it was to have children. I AM YOUR CHILD! Wasn't I wonderful enough for you?"  
  
"Crystal, calm down, it was a long time ago and I've moved on and you really should too." She said trying to calm me down, but I knew she was trying to prevent me dragging up her sordid past and I was so angry. I tried to slap her, I lunged forward but the man stopped me. I had completely forgotten he was even in the room.  
  
"How dare you talk to your mother like that! And try to hit her, she looked after you, fed you and was good to you despite having so little money, she left you in the care of her trusted friend to be looked after until she could come and get you. You ungrateful little child" he spat the last words at me his face inches from my own. I laughed at him, in his face and started to sing like a bird. I no longer shouted but spoke quietly I was beyond shouting, beyond violence, I gave in to the terrible urge to cause the pain I felt for other people.  
  
"Oh we had money, lots of it, you should have seen some of her fine dresses. Feeding her children wasn't as important as looking nice, but then again it was an important part of her job" my mother looked at me furiously, I knew at that moment I knew if I continued I would lose her forever.  
  
"Didn't she tell you she was a prostitute? A common whore? Offering herself to anyone and everyone who came to the house. Yes that's my good kind respectable mother, the women who abandoned her family when she was over $6000 dollars in debt. Has she told you about her son? He was beaten every week for two years because of the money she wasted, every single week. She left when I was seven, left to find herself a millionaire so she could have everything she wanted. I didn't think she would find one stupid enough to take a piece of trash like her but I was obviously wrong! Did she tell you she was pregnant, that the kid was yours, is that how she got you?" She slapped me then, and threw me out of the house. It wasn't even her house but I knew I had blown it. I had nothing and no-one, I was lost and what was worse I was already regretting some of the things I had said even if they were all true.'  
  
Christa sank down on the bed, exhausted by the violent emotions waiting for Johnny to reply. She hadn't wanted to remind of the times they had both preferred to forget but he had insisted. He moved over her and gently pushed back her hair and lightly traced a finger over the healing bruises on her face.  
  
'Christa where did you get these? Mother didn't do them, you've not told me everything.' Christa turned away from him and wrapped her arms around her knees.  
  
'Dammit Johnny, that's my problem, I told you everything that I'm gonna tell you, everything that you need to know, now for god's sake leave me alone, I made my mistakes and I will sort them out. Just leave it.'  
  
He didn't know what worried him more the tragic tale she had just told him or the even more tragic tale that was yet to be revealed. He could tell from her defensive position and tired face that he wasn't going to find out today.  
  
'Go to sleep Christa, it's been a long day' he said and he kissed her on the forehead and walked out of the room, leaving christa to the quiet solace of her tears. 


End file.
